Talking to Your Kids About Sex
Talking to your children about sex can be a challenging conversation at any age. Parents are a child's most important source of information about sex because they are available to answer questions right away and are able to share knowledge, values and attitudes.
Remember that if you don't educate your children about this important topic, someone else will! Also remember that you can talk to your child about sex in multiple conversations, so do not feel pressured to talk about everything all at once.
Younger children hear about sexuality from sources like the media and their peers. Even young kids often have questions about sex and sexuality. Try to answer those questions simply but factually. When you see a teachable moment, for example, a display of sexuality on a TV show, use that teachable moment to discuss your values with your child. Be comfortable and confident when you discuss sex with your child so that he or she knows that you are willing to discuss this topic.
Teenagers want and need to discuss sexuality with their parents. Try to ask questions and listen more than you speak so that you can learn more about what is going on in your teen's life. Respecting your teen's privacy is very important in allowing the conversation to move forward, just as you expect your privacy to be respected too! Try to avoid passing judgment on friends or TV characters, but rather set positive expectations about healthy relationships, safety and why sex is worth the wait. Remember that acknowledging sex is not condoning it, but rather is helping your teen understand how to navigate his or her feelings and adolescence. The bottom line priority should always be safety, so remember to discuss how to protect against disease and unwanted pregnancy in a factual way.
If you'd like more information, here are a few websites that contain helpful articles on this topic: The American Academy of Pediatrics’ website www.healthychildren.org; Talking with Kids About Tough Issues at www.childrennow.org; and www.kidshealth.org .
Deborah Pulver, MD is a Pediatrician at The Pediatric Group located at 66 Mount Lucas Road in Princeton, NJ and mother to her two year old daughter. For more information about the practice call 609.924.4892 or visit www.pedgroup.com.