In Praise of Failure

The fear of failure can become a significant handicap to meaningful learning and professional growth. We witness this fear in the college students who bypass challenging and stimulating classes for easier classes and better grades. We see it in the aversion that some people have to taking risks in seeking a new job, or even in making new friends. Ultimately, however, if we are motivated by our fear of failure, we necessarily limit our potential.

We are also often afraid that our children will fail. We sometimes see failure, whether it be on a math test or a potentially game-winning jump shot, as the cause of irreparable harm. But, as we know from our own experience, every time we fail at something, our mettle and resolve are tested. Each failure gives us a valuable opportunity to learn from our mistakes.

Sometimes in our genuine love for our children, we steer them clear of situations in which they might not excel. Sometimes in our deep concern for our children, we are what have been called “helicopter parents,” parents who hover above their children ready to sweep down to save them at the first sign of trouble. It is so terribly hard for us not to want to “fix it” for our children, but if we do so repeatedly, we hinder their ability to cope with life’s inevitable disappointments.

So, I write in praise of failure. As hard as it is to watch sometimes, our children learn more from their disappointments and failures than they do from their easy successes.

Richard D. Johnson is the Headmaster of Chapin School in Princeton, NJ.  Chapin School is dedicated to providing a richly textured education that inspires academic achievement and builds strength of character for students from Pre-K to Grade 8. For more information please visit www.chapinschool.org or call 609.924.2449.